QUESTION:
Good morning all, this question was asked in our youth fellowship; Are married couples allowed to watch phonographic video? Please, if yes give reason & if no give reason, thank you all.
Viewing pornography is a sin for many reasons, even when viewed with one’s spouse. First of all, visual pornography takes a sacred, intimate union and makes it a spectator sport. By definition, pornography is the "representation of sexual behavior in books, pictures, statues, films, and other media that is intended to cause sexual excitement... The word pornography, is derived from the Greek porni (“prostitute”) and graphein (“to write”), was originally defined as any work of art or literature depicting the life of prostitutes. https://www.britannica.com/topic/pornography
God designed this intimacy for a husband and wife only (Matthew 19:5; Ephesians 5:31). Sexual acts are, by nature, private. Those who harden their hearts to such a degree that they can commit such private acts in front of spectators are abusing God’s design. And those who enjoy watching pornography are participating in that abuse. Romans 1:32 can apply here, as it describes the downward moral spiral of those who oppose God: “Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them.”
Another negative aspect of watching pornography with a spouse is that to do so invites strangers into your bedroom. It creates a virtual threesome; Watching pornography with your spouse is a form of virtual adultery. It’s as if one is saying, “My spouse is not sexy enough, so I have invited a sexier stranger to help things along.” The spouses may be touching each other’s bodies, but they are visually touching the bodies of adulterous strangers. Nothing about that is in any way pleasing to the Lord. Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God.” There is no way to let your heart feast upon vile, pornographic images and remain pure enough to see God.
The third and most obvious reason that watching pornography is always wrong, whether with a spouse or alone, is that the motivation to do so is lust (Colossians 3:5; Matthew 5:28). Lust is an overwhelming desire for something God has forbidden (Proverbs 6:25). If seeing the nakedness of other people is required to desire sex with one’s spouse, then that is lust. To watch pornography is to give the devil a foothold in your life Ephesians 4:27. Yes! Watching pornography is permitting Satan to infiltrate our thinking, damage our hearts, and call “dirty” what God calls “very good” (Genesis 1:26–31).
God’s parameters for sex are for our safety and well-being. They are there to guard our families and our hearts. God expects us to exercise self-control in all areas of life, including sexuality (Proverbs 25:28; 1 Corinthians 7:9).
Often, one spouse pushes the idea of viewing porn on the other, who agrees simply to keep the peace. But this is a violation of God’s command to submit to one another out of reverence for Christ (Ephesians 5:21). Christ would never ask someone to enjoy and participate in the very sin He died to forgive (Ephesians 5:22). And a husband who loves His wife like Christ loves the church would never encourage her to participate in such demeaning activities (Ephesians 5:25). There are healthier ways in which to reconnect with a spouse than to invite sin into the relationship. Watching pornography with anyone, including a spouse, is a sin.
First Thessalonians 4:3–7 is as relevant today as it was when it was written, and we can apply its truth to the concept of watching pornography with a spouse: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; that each of you should learn to control your own body in a way that is holy and honorable, not in passionate lust like the pagans, who do not know God; and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. For God did not call us to be impure but to live a holy life.”
1 Corinthians 7:5 "Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control".
God wants us to enjoy sex in marriage as a couple ( a man and a woman only).
God calls us to holiness, and pornography is unholy; therefore, it is never God’s desire for us to be involved with pornography for any reason.
Rev. Isaac G. Y Bangalu Founder & CE
Couples & Singles Network for Christ Initiative
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